


Sunflowers, Dahlias, and Baby’s Breath

by RoyaiFan101



Series: Flowers [1]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M, No HEA, Post Promised Day, Royai - Freeform, riza can be considered ooc, so can roy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:47:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27609208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoyaiFan101/pseuds/RoyaiFan101
Summary: Riza wakes up and realizes that last night was a mistake.
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Series: Flowers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020439
Comments: 12
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who likes to give y’all angsty/not really a HEA Royai? 
> 
> This bitch that’s who. 
> 
> Enjoy.

Riza wakes up and realizes that last night was a mistake.

She sits up and glances over her shoulder, sees her equally as naked commanding officer fast asleep on his stomach beneath the quilt on his queen sized bed. God what had she been thinking? Agreeing to his invitation to join him in his apartment for a late cup of tea. One thing led to another, and the next thing Riza knows is that she’s in naked in his bed, moaning beneath him like a bitch in heat, her legs wrapped tightly around his hips while her nails leave scrapes down the muscular skin of his back.

So stupid. So damn, damn, stupid. Worst part, she couldn’t even blame alcohol on their mistake; they’d both been sober.

Quietly, she got out of bed, wincing as what little of his seed remained in her tricked down her inner thigh, quickly grabbed her clothes and got dressed. Riza is out the door and rushing as quickly as she can back to her car, gone long before Roy has a chance to wake up.

* * *

Roy wakes up to the sun in his eyes, groaning in annoyance. But then he remembers last night. He smiles to himself as he recalls how _hot_ and _tight_ Riza had felt, the feeling of her lips against his, her nails in his back.

He knows this will complicate things, that this could possibly get in the way of their shared goal. A lot has happened since the Promised Day five years ago, and there’s still a lot more to be done. But he doesn’t care. Roy loves her, and wants to be more then just her commanding officer and her late Father’s apprentice.

He rolls over on to his side, prepared to tell her this, only to find the other side of his bed empty.

_Huh. Maybe she’s in the kitchen?_

He gets up, slips his boxers on, and wonders to his small kitchen, expecting to see Riza sitting at his kitchen table. Instead, he sees nothing. Roy looks around his apartment, trying to find her. Instead, he soon discovers she’s _gone_.

_Oh. Guess the feeling isn’t mutual._

* * *

The following Monday at work, there is tension between him and Riza that, _thank God_ , the rest of their team decides to ignore. Or they genuinely don’t notice anything different. Either way Roy isn’t going to complain about the fact that they’ve all decided to keep their mouths shut for once.

When the men go to eat lunch in the cafeteria, Roy finally speaks up.

“Captain?”

“Yes, Sir?” Riza replies, her eyes still locked on to the paperwork she’s doing.

“About this weekend...” he trails off, sighing.

“It was a _mistake_ , Sir. A one time thing, never to be discussed or repeated again.” She tells him, signing her name on the bottom of the document before she gets up and quickly leaves to eat lunch herself.

“Okay then.” He mumbles quietly to himself after the door to his office has been slammed shut.

* * *

Both Riza and Roy cry when they get back to their respective apartments that night.

* * *

 _This is karm_ a. Riza thinks bitterly, staring down at the test on her bathroom counter. _Karma for spreading my legs open like some two dollar whore for my boss, of all people._

God damn that little pink plus sign.

She can’t keep this, this... thing growing inside of her body. It’ll ruin _everything_ that her and Roy have worked so hard for. All their goals will be pointless because it won’t happen. Their dreams unrealized because of a tiny bundle of cells hidden safely in her womb.

Damn that man for not using a condom. And damn her for not bringing it up either.

She finishes getting dressed, thankful it’s her day off, and heads to East City’s small Apothecary, hoping to find Pennyroyal or Black Cohosh amongst their inventory.

She can’t go to Madam Christmas with this. She’ll tell Roy, and Riza doesn’t want him to know about it.

Not now, not ever.

* * *

Riza brews the tea in silence, following the directions exactly. She’s never used this tea before. Never had to. Never thought she would have to.

And yet, here she is, prepared to take another innocent life.

She’s killed before. She can kill again.

Once it’s done, she sits it on her table to cool, grabbing her guns to clean them as a way to pass the time.

One gun cleaned, still too hot for her liking.

A second gun done, not quite ready yet.

Her third pistol perfect, the tea is at room temperature.

Four down, her tea is getting cold.

Her fifth and final gun is spick and span, and her tea now feels like ice.

Riza shakes her head in sorrow as the drink is poured down the drain.

* * *

Roy can’t figure out what’s wrong with his adjacent.

She’s been acting weird these last few months, even more so then she did the first week after their night together. Their mistake, she had called it. But that was nearly five months ago, what the hell was her problem now?

A busted air conditioning unit soon has the team removing their jackets, uniform regulations be damned. He’s the General in charge of Eastern Command, for Christ sake.

It’s Havoc that breaks the silence.

“Hey, Hawkeye. Are you pregnant, or just... not exercising...?” He asked, eyes cast down towards her abdomen.

“The former, not that it’s any of your business.” She growls lowly.

_What? Is it mine? It’s gotta be mine, she would’ve mentioned something by now if it wasn’t._

“Oh. Congrats. I think?” He mutters.

“And the Father...?” Kain asked, trailing off.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Their subordinates all tense up, eyes wide.

“Oh damn. Reez. I’m sorry.” Heymans frowns.

Riza scoffs, rolling her eyes before looking up at the First Lieutenant sitting across from her.

“I was _stupid_ , not _assaulted_ , Lieutenant. But I appreciate your concern.” She mumbles softly.

Roy stays silent the entire time.

* * *

He tries the entire time to get her to let him be involved.

He asks her when her doctors appointments are, if she needs anything for the baby, something.

She declines every offer.

 _It’s his baby, too_. He has a right to be there, even if it’s only in secret financially.

But Riza makes it clear every time he opens his mouth for any reason regarding the life that’s causing her belly to swell, that she has no intention of raising this baby with help.

At least help from him, a fact he learned when she happily accepted the blanket that Rebecca’s mom had knitted for her.

* * *

It’s a windy day in late November when Riza’s water breaks in the middle of her small apartment.

Groaning, she picks up her bag, slinging it over her shoulder. She calls Kain, tells him that she’s going to the hospital and needs him to watch Hayate. She declines his offer to call someone to go with her, and heads off to the hospital.

Alone.

It’s eighteen hours later that a slimy blonde boy is placed onto her slightly flat and squishy stomach, the nurse cleaning him off as Riza cries tears of joy.

Less because her son is healthy and more because he doesn’t look like his Father.

The first person she calls is Rebecca.

“Oh my God! I’ll be right there!” The brunette shrieks into the phone, hanging up so she can pack a small bag and get on the first train from Central to East City.

* * *

Rebecca practically hogs her little Godson the entire time Riza is in the hospital, only handing the newborn back to his mother when he cries for her breast or a clean nappy.

“What’s his name?” Becca cooes, stroking the straw blonde hair away from his eyes.

“ _Micah_.” Riza answers with a small yawn.

* * *

Roy is about to open the door and walk back to his office from a telephone meeting with Führer Grumman when he hears the sound of Rebecca’s voice on the other side.

“ _You guys! Riza’s baby is so adorable! He looks just like her!_ ”

He.

It’s a boy.

He and Riza made a tiny little boy together. A little boy she doesn’t want him to be the Father too.

But still, he should get her something. But what? _Flowers_. Flowers would be nice.

* * *

He gets her a nice bouquet, consisting on her favorite flowers, and some that have a meaning of what he wants to say to her.

Roy doesn’t know when she’ll be discharged, nor does he want the flowers to die before she gets home. So he calls the hospital, requesting her room.

“ _Hello_?” He hears her voice on the other end of the line, and he sighs with relief.

“Hey, Hawk-“

 _Click_.

He pulls the phone away from his ear, stunned to hear the sound of the line being disconnected. He can finally take the hint.

Roy lets out a shaky breath, slips on a glove, and snaps his fingers, and the bouquet of sunflowers, dahlias, and baby’s breath are nothing more then a pile of ash on his coffee table.

He doesn’t even know his sons name.


	2. Chapter 2

Colic is the worst thing a mother can go through with her infant- excluding infant death or a kidnapping.

At least Riza thinks it’s colic. Whatever this is, it’s a nightmare and a half.

Micah won’t stop crying unless he is snug in her embrace, and she is running on fumes. She can’t clean her home or even herself without him screaming bloody murder, his tiny face flushed bright red and his throat goes raw.

Even Hayate is on edge. Poor dog.

It’s only until Riza’s elderly neighbor from down the hall gives her a baby sling that life gets a little easier. She isn’t able to take a shower unless he’s fast asleep in his cradle, but God at least she’s able to do the dishes now.

* * *

Roy knows it’s immature of him to do this, he’s thirty six for God’s sake. But he doesn’t care. He decides to treat Riza the way she makes him feel.

Like utter shit.

He is no longer the fun superior that procrastinates on his paperwork. He is more efficient. He doesn’t participate in the jokes and teasing amongst his subordinates. He quickly shoots down Fuery’s suggestion of letting Riza bring her baby to work with her and Hayate.

_This is a military office, not a daycare center. Either get a baby sitter or retire and live off Granddaddy’s money._

His men think he’s being a bit of an asshole. And he is. But that’s not all Roy is.

He is also a Father mourning the loss of a son that is _still alive_.

There is a positive though. He now knows what the little boy he helped to father is named. And it only took four months for him to learn it.

 _Micah_.

He was foolish to hope his name was _Maes_.

* * *

Once Micah gets out of his colic phase, he’s a happy baby.

He is now all smiles and giggles and wide brown eyes full of wonder as Riza dances in the kitchen with him in her arms. He shrieks loudly and happily when she blows raspberries on his cheeks and bellies.

But one day, she stops abruptly. And just... stares at him.

He’s six months old, and her one of her worst fears is coming true.

He’s six months old, and she can see his father in him.

Not a lot.

Tiny little things.

A dimple when he smiles, a trail of drool coming out of the side of his mouth when he’s sleeping. The fact that neither of them like to eat bananas.

They’re nothing that could make some think Micah might be the Flame Alchemist’s son, but it’s enough to get Riza to hope his hair _stays blonde_.

* * *

Roy is driving down the road when he stops at a red light. One glance across the street and he sees it.

Riza and Rebecca Catalina having lunch at an outdoor café, a laughing baby in Catalina’s arms.

Roy feels his heart clench. Micah is nine months old and it’s the first time he’s ever laid eyes on him.

He knows that if he had allowed Riza to bring him to work, he would’ve seen him nearly every day.

But he can’t.

He can’t mentally handle looking at the baby boy that Riza doesn’t want him to have any part of raising.

It kills him that his son is growing up without him.

And it angers him that he’ll be the one Micah ends up hating in the end.

* * *

The day before Micah turns one, Rebecca figures out that Roy is his father.

And it _horrifies_ Riza.

All because of her joking that maybe the Flame Alchemist might be his daddy. The look of shame that passes over Riza’s face has Becca putting two and two together.

Instantly, Becca begins to curse Roy’s name, calling him a bastard. “He should be helping you.” She snarls.

“I don’t want him to!” Riza snaps at her, feeding her son some mashed carrots.

“If I wanted or needed his help, I would’ve asked. Now stay out of it, Becca!” She growls.

* * *

He doesn’t know how, or even why, but Catalina manages to find out where he lives.

“What do you want Catalina? It’s four in the fucking morning.” He grumbles, opening the front door. He grunts as she shoves her way past him and into his apartment.

“Why aren’t you involved with Micah?” She asks as soon as he shuts the front door.

“Why are you letting him grow up without a Father?”

Roy scoffs, rolling his eyes as he walks passed her and into his kitchen, pouring himself a glass of scotch.

“Do you know what she called the night we spent together- our only night together despite popular belief from everyone in Amestris?” Roy questioned, as he sat down at his table.

“What?” Becca frowned, sitting across from him.

“A _mistake_. Never to be discussed or repeated again. Do you wanna know how I found out that she was pregnant? Her stomach started getting bigger. Wanna know how I found out that me and her baby was a _boy_? I overheard _you_ gushing about it to the others. When she was still in the hospital, I called her. I wasn’t going to ask if I could see him, I just wanted to make sure that she was okay. She hung up the phone as soon as she heard that it was me. He was four months old before I learned his name and nine months old the first time I saw him.”

Rebecca sat there in stunned silence. She had always thought the worst of Micah’s father, even before she found out that he was Mustang’s.

“My son is a year old. I see his Mother ten hours a day, six days a week. And I don’t even know what his middle name is.”

“ _John_.” Rebecca spoke up suddenly. “His middle name is John.” He might not know much about his child, but he _deserves_ to know his full name.

_My middle name is Jonathan._

* * *

Rebecca practically drags Riza by her hair to Roy’s apartment three days later, a babbling Micah in her arms.

Becca shoves her best friend into her baby daddy’s apartment without so much as a hello.

“I am going to spend the day with my godson. And I’m not coming back until you two start acting more mature about this entire mess.” She snarls, slamming the door shut behind her before Roy or Riza could protest.

“What did you tell her?” Riza groans.

“The _truth_.” He growls.

“Oh don’t give me that crap, you have no right to be mad!”

“Bullshit!” Roy yells. “I have every right to be mad! Especially at you!”

“The best night of my life, something that I had accepted since Ishval would never happen, got ruined. By _you_.” He cries, fighting back tears.

“When will you get it? You can’t be his Dad. If anyone thinks for one second that he’s your son, it’ll ruin _everything_! Everything that we have done will have been for _nothing_ , everyone thing we want to do _won’t happen_. That dream of making this country better for him and future generations will be tossed into the trash bin like a used tissue.”

“I get that! I get that he can’t grow up calling me Dad. I understand why he can never have _my_ last name. But for fucks sake, Riza! You won’t even let me be an _anonymous_ check in the mail!”

“Why did you even keep him? Wouldn’t it have been easier to just leave him at the hospital so that someone else could raise him as their own?” He mumbles.

“I wanted to be his mother...” she sniffled, looking down at the floor.

“You just didn’t want me to be his Father. All I know is that _I_ better not be the one he hates as an adult for growing up without a dad.” Roy growls.

Riza lets out a scoff. “You think either of us are going to live that long? Our goal is to be _tried_ , _convicted_ , and _executed_ for what we did in Ishval, remember that? Having a _baby_ doesn’t magically make that go away! We’re not going to see him become an adult, get married, or have kids of his own. I’ll be happy if we’re alive when he enters puberty!”

_She actually thinks I’m going to allow our son to grow up just like we did? Growing up without our biological Mother?_

“Just _go_. You can wait for Catalina in the lobby downstairs. And we can go back to pretending. I can pretend that Micah doesn’t exist, and you can pretend that some other guy fucked him into you.” He huffs, opening the door for his adjacent to leave.

Riza goes without saying another word.

When Rebecca come back four hours later, an hour before Micah’s bed time, Riza pulls rank on her best friend and orders her to drop the issue. Nothing she tries will fix the choices she’s made, or the fact that her and Roy are both too stubborn for their own good.

* * *

Six weeks later, a transfer order comes in for Roy to go from Eastern Command back to Central. He has the option to chose which subordinates to take with him.

He chooses none of them.

He leaves everyone- _Fuery, Breda, Havoc... Hawkeye... their son_ \- all of them behind, as he goes off to Central alone, putting the lower ranking men as the direct subordinates under Lieutenant Colonel Riza Hawkeye.

Maybe in Central he can learn to love again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *rereads chapter* I THINK I MADE THINGS WORSE!
> 
> (Sorry Temaridono!)

**Author's Note:**

> FYI, I am very pro-choice, and fully believe a woman has the right to chose unlike anti-choicers.


End file.
